V.I.P.ASSPORT

EXCLUSIVE A.S.S. STAKEHOLDERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT

oh hi, i didn't see you there, welcome!

DOES ANYONE WANT A FLAT PIECE OF PLASTIC?

SEPCIAL OFFER

Every investor that leaves me a product review is enetered into a monthly raffle to win a physical V.I.P.ASSPORT CARD (no monetary value but high A.S.S. Company lore value)

DETAILS & INFORMATION

Q4 COUNTDOWN

hark! the q4 angels sing!

tis the season to fill the void and wonder if the illusion of control via the capitalistic urge to shop & collect will be enough to make life worth living. this V.I.P. Assport page is for my special assvestors that have graciously left product reviews on my website. Below is a little free shipping code for you to use anytime! (YES, it stacks with other codes)

code: *a.s.s.

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AFFORDABLE SILLY STUFF SAVINGS!

A.S.S.S.

below are a curated array of V.I.P. exclusive discount codes! just my little way to say THANKS for investing, each code is a different discount value! I may or may not fluctuate the discount value of these codes from time to time when I feel mischievous

A.S.S.E.T.S. ⭐⭐⭐ POOP&PEE500 ⭐⭐⭐ ASSDAQ ⭐⭐⭐ FARTMARKET ⭐⭐⭐ BUTTCOIN ⭐⭐⭐

exclusive access

V.I.P. ASSPORT MINI B*RKIN

$21.99

Access to luxury is the best luxury amirite. Mi A.S.S. es su A.S.S. is what the V.I.P. experience is all about, if you're lucky enough to behold this page, you're amongst a very few exclusive elite that are allowed the opportunity to invest in a mini b*rkin

Care: SHOW THIS OFF TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW PLEASE.

Measurements: height ~4.2", width ~3.5”, depth 1.5"

Material: synthetic

For consumer safety, this product is intended as "art", recommended ages 12 and up

This item is 100% exclusive for V.I.P.Assport holders, so cool right